Positive thinking..that's all I have

I haven't been away from my side of the family like this since I was 9 years old. My mom sent me to Poland when I was a month away from turning 9. I went there because my mom had some medial issues and was not able to care for me the way I needed her for that time. I  walked into a home in Poland not knowing a soul.
I had never met my aunt nor my grandfather. 9 yrs old and I was so far away from my mom. I survived it...I keep reminding myself that I survived it and that I can do it again.
The thing is, I never thought that at this age I could Ache for my mom like I do.
I took that for granted and now I know that with my whole heart, she is someone I need, but at the moment can't have.
I never knew I counted on hearing her voice everyday, more so for my kids, so that they know their "Bobbi's" voice. I miss her and my Stepdad. More than anything in this world.
So I try and stay positive, for my kids, for Adam....but there are quiet times.....when I tear up and wish I could see their faces, even for a minute.......