Positive thinking..that's all I have

I haven't been away from my side of the family like this since I was 9 years old. My mom sent me to Poland when I was a month away from turning 9. I went there because my mom had some medial issues and was not able to care for me the way I needed her for that time. I  walked into a home in Poland not knowing a soul.
I had never met my aunt nor my grandfather. 9 yrs old and I was so far away from my mom. I survived it...I keep reminding myself that I survived it and that I can do it again.
The thing is, I never thought that at this age I could Ache for my mom like I do.
I took that for granted and now I know that with my whole heart, she is someone I need, but at the moment can't have.
I never knew I counted on hearing her voice everyday, more so for my kids, so that they know their "Bobbi's" voice. I miss her and my Stepdad. More than anything in this world.
So I try and stay positive, for my kids, for Adam....but there are quiet times.....when I tear up and wish I could see their faces, even for a minute.......

I wish I could Rewind...

It's been quite a day here, Being that its September and this month is filled with birthdays, I make my cards by hand. So I went up to my Craft drawers, and left Zack at the Kitchen table with a project to color a Picture for Haylee....well I hear him moving around while I am finishing up cutting the paper.....the bathroom door slams. I go down and put the paper on the table and I hear Zack scream.....so I run to the door...lose my footing and slam into the door with my shoulder....Well I end up putting a shoulder size hole in the door.....Cheap piece of crap! to make matters worse he LOCKED the door! And did not comprehend how to unlock it...
I now am trying to pop open the door with a butter knife, calling Adam for ideas....total nightmare.
After an hour of sweating , cursing,  and wishing I had put tape over the lock to begin with...none of this would have happened!
So Now I am on a search for a new freaking door to replace the one with a hole in it...Vegas does not have my favorite hardware store ( Menards) Home Depot BLOWS, and Lowes doesnt seem to be much help online....
So its off the the store tonight to take a look what they have in stock......
I just wish I could Rewind the day knowing what I know now, maybe I wouldn't have ran so fast and tripped over my own two feet!

Some Creative expressions

                                Some of my Creations that I have made for myself or for Friends and Family!

Let me know what you think!

I will add more soon!!

6:50am

Yes, 6:50am is the time Adam left for work this morning.....and I hate garbage day!
The garage door opener is soooooooo Loud. This morning was the first morning in awhile that I had the bed to MYSELF! Zack was in his bed and Dylan in his crib....Very rare! So what does Daddy do?? He opens the garage door to take the garbage out....and the CRYING began!
It's Lovely when you are woken up by a crabby 7 month old and nothing you do makes him content.
It's not that he does it a lot, the crying I mean, but when he starts.....LOOK OUT.
His wails seem like the world is ending!
I, of course, call Daddy and tell him that "He Sucks" and continue on the AM conversation as if I was up the last 3 hours. Once I wake up ( the kicker in this whole thing was that I was having an awesome dream) reality takes me back to this very moment of remembering that no Barb.....you are not on a boat traveling the world, or any other dream like fantasy my sleeping mind can cook up that night.
No. No.....my reality is this...Mama....I need this....Bob-Bob, Penguins.....Baby cries...change diaper...rush Zack to the Potty.....and Repeat!

Bowling with Daddy

 

We took Zack bowling for the first time this weekend. He did so well with Dad.

He walked around with his 6lb "orange juice" ball and rolled it down the lane like he was doing this forever!

His score was 52, not bad for a nearly 3yr old  on his first try.

Daddy says we have to start him young, even younger than Adam was!

All in all it was an adventure, something I would love to repeat over and over again with my big Boy!

Brotherly Love

 

There is nothing like in the World.

I could never have imagined such an amazing bond!

Forever will they have each other, 

To either hug or hit.

But brothers they are till the end!

Jon VS Kate....

Anyone else sick of hearing about the failed marriage of Jon & Kate Gosselin?
It's the same old story spun out over and over again, they keep trying to keep it in the news for publicity and in the end the kids are used as pawns in a way.
They have made far more money being Exploited by the media, and it never seems to stop....
I for one am not surprised by the end result of the union ending. Anyone willing to go on TV knows what the consequences are of that choice.
Do I feel bad? Sure, no one deserves to have their marriage end and the kids having divorced parents. But thats reality and many people out their live that everyday without sitting on the media bandwagon screaming "Look at me! My wife calls me a Lame Fish" or "I am gonna do things I have never done before" Over and Over and Over again.
That show has become more of a drama then a wholesome family show about parents raising 8 kids.

My goals

If you haven't already noticed...I am really bad at blogging. ha
But I intend to change that now. Especially since for some who refuse to be on facebook, really do not have my daily updates.
So this is where I will be updating everything I do on a daily basis with the kids and Adam.
This can honestly be a family page, as well as the adventures I come across living in a brand new city.
I never thought life would be so hard starting over again at 27. But I am doing my best to wake up each day with a better attitude and not let the little things get me down.

Waking up to views of the mountains, walking outside in the dry heat, to wondering how chilly it really in Chicago..... LOL I miss home, but soon enough this city will be home for us.,

Moving on, Starting fresh

Some wonder why we moved across the country from family and friends. Especially to Sin city, with 2 small kids....
Here's the low down on our decision....
1. the economy is bad everywhere you look, regardless where you live, you are effected by it. We were struggling in Chicago, Taxes were high and the return of work was not steady enough for us to survive the rest of the year, let alone the future.
2. We wanted something better for our kids, and the future is brighter here, at least for us. Yes Las Vegas is struggling, but not in the industry that my husband works in. Here it is actually thriving! He has made more here in the last 2 months then we had in 4 back in Chicago.
3. We have no true desire to gamble our hard earned money at the casinos.....Don't get me wrong, I have gambled a bit but whats 10 bucks in 2 months??
4. We will not fail, Adam and I work hard everyday to keep our heads up and move forward, we lean on each other to strive here, as we only have each other and I love that! Back in Chicago we had too many hands in our business and I was growing weary of how that would effect us in the long run....

Those are a few reasons as to why we moved on and went forward with the move to Vegas. A City that is truly a "city" all to its own. Honestly it should be its own country! we are so far secluded in this vast country, and I feel like I live in a crater of beautiful mountains, instead of staring at corn fields and rain.....

We are all struggling to live nowadays, but if we don't see past all negatives, you really can't move on to the better things in life.